Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Be Brave.

It's a blogging trend lately to do a "if you really know me" post. 

I can't really think of anything that scandalous.. 
I love love potatoes, 
painting makes me happy, 
and I'm ridiculously over critical of myself, 
however, it did make me think about actually being open. 

Everyone has a tendency to put their best face forward, 
to compare their behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel. 
(..yeah, I totally stole that from Pinterest.) 

So, guys. 
I'm struggling here. 

I leave Raleigh, NC in 39 days. 

The house is no where NEAR packed, much less cleaned. 
Although I've contacted movers, none have gotten back in touch with me
ditto on the cleaners - both carpet and house.
 So, I worry. 

I'm running out of space to put the boxes I have packed, 
and still don't know what I'm going to do with the furniture. 
So, I worry. 

I'm nervous about making the new place a home, not just another rental. 
We need new furniture for a couple rooms,
 and while only spending $1000 is better than $10,000  it's still money. 
Money that I then worry about because -I don't have a job yet.- 
Both Mike and I decided that we wanted to get everything unpacked
 and in place before I start looking for a job, 
and let's be honest, do I really have time to fly across country for a interview?
No, No I don't. I know it's only temporary, 
but it's rough temporary. 
 So, I worry. 

Shiva's not getting better. 
They said it could take two months to get rid of the mites, 
and even two more months to get her hair to grow back. 
They also said it wasn't my fault. That doesn't help, though. 
She had a rash on her stomach when I picked her up from the boarders this week. 
Rash that will probably mean more antibiotics. 
More antibiotics mean more vet visits. 
Poor little girl has hardly any hair on her face. 
So, I worry. 
poor hairless face. 
We leave for Europe in a week. 
I'm OCD when I travel. 
I like reservations, plans, organization. I have hardly any. 
We dont have train tickets, underground tickets, attraction tickets, or dinner reservations. 
We don't really even know what we're doing. 
Canal tour in Amsterdam? 
Jack the Ripper tour in London?
Romantic dinner cruise in Paris?
Versailles? Anne Frank House? The Louvre? London Eye? - all need advanced tickets.
That I haven't purchased yet. 
So, I worry. 

Did I mention that I'm going to Charleston this weekend?
And going home the weekend I'm back in town from Europe. 
My friend is also due that day, so while I hope baby comes after Europe, 
I need him to come before I leave to go home. 
I'm also heading to Charlotte, to see a dear friend. 
This one, plus his lady friends. 

I could cancel these things. 
But, I dont WANT to. 
I've been in this town, with these people, for 26 years. 
It hurts to rip out these roots and replant them somewhere far -FAR- away. 
A land without sweet tea, bojangles or mom. 
Y'all - I talk to my mom &/or dad at least twice a day. 
Not kidding. As I walk in and out of work. 
Just - chat -
YES I KNOW I CAN STILL DO THAT and that there's skype, 
but leaving work at 5pm in San Jose means calling Mom at 8pm. 
Which is fine, unless shes working 12 hour days, 
4am is early. 8pm is late. You do the math. 
Yes, I'm 26 years old and I want my mommy. 

I'm not even going to mention that I'm
training someone new at work on software that I took 2 years to learn, 
(and i have 1 day to teach)
or that the cats and Shiva are suddenly at odds, 
or that I haven't bought my bridesmaids dress yet, (SORRY APRIL, I WILL FRIDAY!)
or that it isn't easy to maintain a relationship via Skype, 
or that I worry if we'll still have friends in NC or make friends in CA, 

I'm not here to whine or beg for pity. 
Just to say, it's hard. 
I decided, however, that THIS will be bought 
for over my desk in Cali. 
Because, it's what I have. 

It will be ok. I know it will. Things will fall into place. 
 Mike and I are happy and love each other. 
We have an amazing family unit on both sides that surrounds us
 with love and prayers and positive energy- and good food..
We have friends that we love, animals that love us, and a great future around us. 
But, sometimes it's hard. 
So, I worry. 

(I promise a full post of cute animal pictures tomorrow so that everyone laughs)


  1. Just keep on going Terri...that's all you can do! And the funny animal pictures helped too :) I can't wait to read a post about you relaxing in your new, fabulously decorated home!

  2. Okay. Just breathe. All will be fine. and it's almost over... but don't worry because there is still plenty of time! And you have europe to look forward too! Just one day at a time.

  3. I don't know if you were reading Teh Blog when I moved from Bahrain, but I felt like all I was doing was making angsty posts. Moving is hard. Even if its just down the street. Across the country (or further) is a huge unknown.. But keep focusing on the positive and it will all be over before you even know it and you'll wonder why you were worried in the first place.

    PS. Tell people that Shiva is part hairless dog and part lab. Which makes the lack of hair perfectly acceptable!

  4. I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. It sounds like A LOT to deal with. And you're right moving is SUPER stressful. Our move from CA just about killed the both of us. The good news is one day when you're all unpacked and just enjoying your new place you'll realize it was all worth it and all the bad memories will be far removed. Hope Shiva feels better soon! Sick pets are the WORST! :( xo